Exactly Ban together Just because you pay more doesnt mean your better. Did you know they also charge the non-custodial parent 2.5% of the payment each time it is made? 2. This is so very inspirational and wonderful to hear of. I contacted him through his email and he assured me that in two days time my boyfriend is going to leave the other girl and come back to me and it was a very great surprise to see my boyfriend coming back to me after two days. But what most dont know is thisstate CSEAs are provided a financial incentive and reimbursement from the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT for the money they process (anyone else pay a processing fee?). For me no problem India isnt that bad yet it has only 1% divorce rates in the World. Id wash my hands and make me and them dinner, put in laundry then go to bed. File for modification. 3. Do you seriously think that $1,000/mth isnt a lot of money to some people? Shell have her day to pay for all the wrong shes doing. Something has to be changed it is o my making fathers to work longer hours and not have time for family. Work for new husband for free. The Federal Parent Locator Service uses a national database to track down noncustodial parents to enforce payments. There is even less basis for fears realated to childrens well being one education and job levels are controlled for. Wrong. The children should solely be with mom for consistency and stability. It used to be closer to 95% of the time, so some progress has been made. When did raising children become unreal. And the court in Arkansas doesnt care at all that we have 6 children now. Good luck to you. Kids are not furniture. They spend way too much time chasing and threatning the fathers that are paying so that those cases can used in their bs statitics as a means of showing the system works. He completely has controlled our lives and finances for the last four years. It takes both parents to raise these children of today,,, its not just one parents obligation to foot the bill because they can hold a jobour problem is not the child support department Its babys having babys.grow up an take responsibility for your actions!! And I can see when the child support check is cashed off my bank statements Each month its cashed a weekend I have my girls And the next week when I get my girls back They didnt do anything but sit on their tablets and didnt get snacks like they do with me (fruits and vegetables) but their mother does have a brand new car, The problem is no one wants to advocate for the fathers. The harsh reality is that non of our law makers have the balls to make the changes that are truely in the best interest of the children in fear of losing votes. Get a lawyer, build a case, and fight for custody my brotha. She never got a job and was on welfare, food stamps, and got a medical card. If I was still with the woman, and I was laid off for a period of time, would she, being in the same house with me, be punishing me for not having a job by billing me thousands of dollars more? How is this at all even remotely in the best interest of the child? What you can do is move out of your grandmothers basement and try to provide a stable environment for your child instead of depending on them to raise your child. We will work zealously to guide you through the appeals process, ensuring that you present the proper evidence and arguments. I apply for food stamps and am DENIED because I am just at their income limit because they DONT COUNT CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS!! Financially it was a hardship, I could not pay my bills, moved back in with my mother, filed bankruptcy etc, while still attempting to correct this child support issue. This makes the assumption that the states dont already know their laws are draconian. Dads everywhere are getting screwed over and treated badly! She shoves my step daughter, damages her things that she buys herself and that we buy her, wears the clothes we buy her and that she buys herself. All politicians out there need to read this. Im a little confused though, you married a guy that pays child support for 2 other kids? FYI I am a man of anyone was assuming I am a heartless woman. Keep going.". It sounds like a . Dont be afraid, make sure that the powers that be, the judge, understands that you are not in agreement of any order that violates your rights as a human being, that is, your right to parent your child as you see fit. and your civil rights are being violated and definitely hire an attorney. There needs to be something much more child specific. Why is she entitled to it? Only means your judge made your a-hole bleed when you left the court room. As of last week his drivers license was suspended and the job opportunity he had lined up has backed out because he cant drive for them without a license. The truth is, many mothers that have sole custody dont get to start over. I managed to prove to the court that the ex does in fact work under the table. Not all men are deadbeats and they also charge interest on past support. spelling?). Women plead for EQUAL RIGHTS yet all I see is condemnation of men. These systems have FAILED not only HER, but her brother and myself!! Ive been thinking all this same stuff for a long time on my own! 3)Again. Know that, your child in not a ward of any state, it is yours. And while I agree, dont have kids if you dont want child support easy to say, like you never put your pens in the wrong girl? The custodial parent doesnt have the ability to pay when on welfare, so we make them able. Child support dont care about anyone they have no hearts they just want to be cruel to random people. Fathers are victimized by the court who now makes it illegal for you to be a father, and only by the courts leave are you allowed to be a father. Max, please dont take your life for someone that probably didnt deserve you. Giana Messore licensed in AR only Little Rock, AR. The only thing that can again make the equation equal, is the ability of the man to decide if hes willing to be responsible financially and supportively for the child. She does nothing but try to make my life miserable at every turn. Even if you take into consideration housing and vehicles.. Its a flawed system. How is it fair that I foolishly got with a woman who lied about her past was intimate with me and then breaks up for me after she gets pregnant and then remarries and ironically has another child. Dont make the same mistake again buddy. It doesnt matter who cheated. Fathers Against unfair Child support and jail time over support . I got a job 2 at first, and supported myself and my child, his father as well as his family were welcome to be very involved in our childs lifeyou see its about whats in the best interest of the child not about money, figure it out its not that hard. I used to pay CHILD SUPPORT from the judge in NEW HAMPSHIRE in 2001-2005; Then I have a massive stroke, paralyzed from my right side, aphasia. A Missouri state senator who went viral because he apparently thinks it's OK for 12-year-olds to get married is clarifying his remarks. Ive been alienated for years and have had essentially no Parenting Time. I work for the CS system in CA. As a women I feel that we have lost touch as what it means to be truly independent and not rely on people who will let you down. This scam employs many people. And I do the right thing for my child. According to your logic, if Dad can only find one day a month to be in his kids life, Mom should be expected to feed Kid 3 meals a day, drive Kid everywhere, pay for school costs, etc. System should be changed where if a parent wants child support then the jobless parent MUST have a full time job. She split up our family with 5 young kids and tried to bankrupt me in the process. Worat thing is my son wont see most of that money, he wont have a college fund because I still have to get him clothes that fit and school supplies. Youre right though, hes brilliant (obviously you knew this when you had unprotected sex with him) all he had to do was get locked up for 8 years now he gets to kick back, have fun and not pay you. To add further insult to injury. The political powers do not want to touch this subject.. Is career ended taboo. Once I relocated she began to file our Tax refunds without informing me she was doing so, she filed an official child support order where I was blindsided when a County Sherrif showed up at my door (i saw my wife often, visited my son on christmas the day after she filed where her and I spoke, we lived in the same neighborhood yet she did not inform me). Its sickening to see great fathers cant even afford a childs birthday with these women act as if they are the only ones who care for that child and manipulate them. Than i ask why was nothing ever produced that she was going to school, they said its not our job to do that. Absolutely! Was known previously as AFDC. Call (412) 471-5100 today to see how your child support order can be altered through . And 100% would gladly take care of my kids every night and i would not want a dime from her. Too many single mothers, feminist organizations, law firms, and state funding to be made. The one whom owes Child Support pays Child Support with After-Tax Money. All it takes is a little bit of common sense to see that the system is extremely unrealistic and completely favors the Custodial Parent. In the 21 century men and women are considered equal. Unless you have a child with a millionaire and you live a little below middle class. Therefore I think we should get together and start out by creating an email template where each of us can tell a small story of our complications and struggles as men who are doing their best to be good fathers yet are being held back by child support enforcement, and create an emailing list to each of our states representatives, then move up the later to committees and senate and congress and all of their aides and secretaries and literally devour their email lists with our movement and make them know that we will not be ignored any longer. The simple fact that child support doesnt guarantee visitation makes me sick. and low and behold im being taken to court to ALTER the child support 2 weeks later.. they want 1200$ a month for 3 kids i never get to see because of her lies and brain washing..I even have to PAY for the visitation i had 3 visits in a year. (Insert male grunt here). But on top of it all, she remarried into money. 3. Here is a social experiment for all of you.all mothers give up primary custody to the fathers who want it. The judge yelled at her for many things she has done but granted her custody and all, anyway. Other than just standing by waiting for it to change how can we change it ? She asked my husband to pay her $50 a week, I agree this is not much but many times I was there as she requested her money occasionally asking for more if the kids had opportunities. Interesting conversation. She went to my nieces house with her daughter to get away from him for a week and when she went back he kicked her out. It was on this faithful day, i came across some comments on a website about this great Helper called Robinson.buckler , so many persons claimed that he help them to renew their relationship and bring their ex back, i had to contact him because he was my last hope. But not when it has varifilable proof that the fathers income has gone down . Its a different world from back then. I pay what I can when I can but I wont be able to work at all if this happens and my girlfriend cant afford to support us both and shouldnt have to if the courts would follow the law and calculate the arrears and payments based on my actual adjusted gross income. I have never received actual child support, we each take care of what we have to, and I have zero issues financially supporting my child by working, WHILE taking care of my child in every other way. Now I fear if I get pulled over for any reason, Ill end up in jail. I would come home after 16 hrs of work to be bombarded with kids being hungry. Rose seriously! View a full listing of offices nationwide. You are being conspired against as soon as you enter the court room. Was even told that by the Johnson county mediator with my ex there at the same time. I am a mother of 3 and when my oldest was 12 I started receiving child support, just last September their dad stoooed working because of an injury. My brother in law gets less then 200 a month for twins and i pay 770 a month for one kid. It is the responsibility of BOTH parents to make sure theyre kids are taken care of!!!!! In georgia there is a fatherhood program, which helps dads find work to catch up their support. So, when a man is only bringing home $200 a paycheck after cs, how are they supposed to provide for their kids so they can actually be fully involved? Please explain how thats supposed to work. It has been about 9 months and he has yet to be served with the paperwork because he has no real address. Yes sir Im your story is like mine drives me insane. Like in an algebraic equation, anything you do to 1 side of the equation, I feel your pain I have a evil kiss mom took everything gets 1300 a month Im left with 220 week to live off of been trying so hard so long Im about to give up either go insand, kill myself ,or hurt people..I am refused my kids by her she tries to keep our bond up tells them bad things about me took and takes eveverything I plus gets all my money Idk wtd Im sick of living ,cryingstressed ot of my mind Im sick every day I cant remember the last time I was happy Im a good father she always wins dont work just makes my life hwell, Im going through the same man if it makes you feel any better I had no idea till last year after paying the same amount for 9 years I would get taken to court for back support my kids are 23, 18, 17 and right before the age out took me for the original amount she was awarded when we agreed on separate amount I payed 600 every month for 9 years. KS I feel you. Now he making more and can fight it but that will take money out of the mouth of his other son. When you have kids you cannot afford, or when you cannot afford to give them the life that . My husband is in active therapy for his PTSD and depression and is unable to work physically.. She abused him and he was to weak to fight her then she abuses the children and now shes abusing me. This is a trap question. We refused to put that in divorce decree because if we were still married nobody could make us pay, so why should being divorced change that? I wouldnt trade them for anything. An increasing number of children being born out of wedlock. Most of this money goes to fill the welfare coffers of the state who like to pander to single mothers and the children. Calling them, i was told although a payment plan was included in monthly payments, they will do whatever they want to get it sooner. I said he was a great dad and does everything he needed to. The man I was living with lived a double life. You are going to say you cant get blood from a stone but your spouse still needs to pay the bills. If you are wondering well does the system take from that and give it back to his child, the answer is no. Also when the now ex wife gets the house hes not able to afford a new one due to child support being what a house payment is. Mike indefinitely agree with you. This because I was left to die at the bottom of a set of stairs while they left stepping over my hemorhaging bodyI would have gladly given up that fight to survive and recover if had known I would never have my children near me again. I have even seen thia to be true with foster kids. Even if she makes 2-3 more an hour her house nite is more than one of he paychecks lol. Courts awarded her $1000/mo because of the RENTAL value of the church house we were living in (we could not profit from rental or sale of this houseit belonged to the church). So let me clarify my intention for this response. I have my two kids on my health ins & dental. Like can anyone tell me how a guy who doesnt pay child support, is a sex offender an is a repeated sex offender doesnt go to jail an gets out of it even admitting to the crime still gets out of it, abuses women including his mother, an his grandmother an a bunch of other women doesnt get a day in jail an the family court judge says hes still 100% fit to be around his daughther even thou he doesnt have any contact with her or even tries to, doesnt pay his child support an keeps raping women of age an under age an nothing happens to him at all. Its like I know that I have to get up and work harder so my kids can have what they want. If she were sitting at home collecting welfare and not working, you would have an even bigger issue with that. 1. He loves all of his kids so much and would do anything for them and she could care less about her kids especially their daughter and he is the one with his rights threatened just because he cant we cant afford to send more than 300 dollars a month just so our daughter we have together has food and shelter!! The child benefits greatly from the growth in both parents, agreements and disagreements. The report sparked outrage across the country and even led to stricter child support laws. also I am holding my revision of CS schedule (I Have custody) and am STILL responsible for 69% of CS (thanks in part to the 10% badbad father must pay baddad rule drafted under title IV-D of Social security act). His salary was $2800/mo before taxes. This is not to say that women are better parents. To go to court to fight custody is another half. Am I wrong for not communicating with him at all? And you told it as it is. Good luck. The ex filed a false claim stating six months arearage(thankfully I had canceled checks for all), and complianed There are questions when you go from making $26 an hour to making $10 an hour, many dads do that intentionally to lessen the amount of child support the ex gets, usually out of bitterness. Our government has failed us. System is outdated and unfair. If money is the most important thing when it comes to raising a child then we should give custody to the parent who makes the most money. The system is so messed up . We may not be getting Ben and Jerrys, may need to cut the cable for a while, not get that new iPhone, etc. you do to the other side of the equation, it remains equal. Im with you my wife cheated and im the bad guy?!? Oh hell no that doesnt go with me. But goes to Vegas and Cancun all the time.. and when he takes the kid , he makes him babysit so he and his new wife can go and get drunk on a bar and party. Thanks. But 800.00 a month and 1200.00 on a 3 paycheck month, come on thats crazy. You are not entitled to them. Unfortunately, most people who work in these support collections units are operating on a political agenda and abuse their positions to achieve those ends. They have been making me pay child support. Being she makes 60k plus over you she should be getting less and paying half the insurance. None of that matters in my support payments. We tried to fight this in court and he lost. Everyone on this bored is complaining, and rightfully so. When you get a subpoena to show up for court regarding child support, you get a are you so and so? Parenting laws are similar in both the countries. The money is for your daughters welfare, not to give you something. It is baffling how any woman could sit and complain when they are being majorly supported in almost every arena. It is a multi billion dollar a year enterprise that the States have going turning fathers into Child Support Slaves for Federal Dollars. This is biological. Because many judges are locked into the the higher the child support is the better it is for the child mentalitywhich completely undermines the shared parenting approachthey are reluctant to deviate downward in child support award. Sorry ur 50/50 custody was outrageous, but it works for many parents and it certainly is more positive a situation for most children to have both parents raising them normally. Please see 42 US Code 654(21)(a). Open your mind and see the truth. Now take half your paycheck and give it to the next person you see. Move on with your life, be a good father, and pay your support. That is just another weapon that women use to be unequal again. The only reason I say that is the reason I even saw your post. Sometimes, I am confued whether we (India) copied laws from India or US copied our laws. They laughed at me and made me out to be a kept woman. I find all your stories very interesting and true from what I have seen and I would love some advice if anyone has any Im just at a lose and have no idea what I can do but here it is. The judge ruled that he should keep paying the same amount with o income and he now had an arearage for the time it took to get the court date. As long as the children are healthy and clean when they come home to you, it really isnt your job to tell you X how to raise the child. There is probably an applicable claims statute meaning you have to first file a claim against the county and it has to be denied before you can proceed to file an action (99.9% of all claims are denied by the county at the last possible moment). The research indicated that fathers typically gained financially following a divorce, even though they were ordered to pay child support, and mothers typically lost financially, they had both. Both parents income IS EXACTLY WHAT GENERATES THE AMOUNT THE COURTS DEFINE AS NECESSARY. Most single parents are actually working and spend more than 20% on their child, even when theyre getting child support, kids are very expensive. Modern child support rules expect both parents to be working, and support rules are meant to maintain the standard of living the children had before the divorce, also to equalize living standards across households if the NCP makes a ton of money and the CP doesnt. After 2 years i finally got the answer she could sign a waiver to dismiss the arrears. What do I do? Or, there is no real reason to continue. The process will continue whether you want to participate or not. That will eat up $750 a month, by itself. The arrearage was from a few years period back in the early 2000s that I was unemployed, as I was laid off from my aviation job after the 9/11 attack, when the airline industry went into a slump. So mother gets custodydad paysand the states gets a kickback from the feds. Pay up, or go to jail (debtors prison).. Try clothing four children pay for extra activities pay for sports pay for field trips snack money shoes school supplies medical expenses! Its because 2 people had sex and as a result they had a child. Its about FATHERs rights. HOWEVER, the majority of men do not want the day to day care of children, but will agree to the 50/50 arrangement in order to avoid child support. CS in my state is a calculation based on the number of overnights each parent has, their salary, if they have other children to support, etc. Given the capacity for errors in human judgment, of course there may be fathers who have heartbreakingly had access to their children unjustly restricted. So now, we will be paying over $70,000 in support for the next 6 years. ..child support agenciesare the worst on fathers and treat us like second class parents in Virginia. I live in texas, so the case worker says you can file an appeal but have to be in court !! I saw first hand how the court system simply does not care about anything you have to say in regards to your parenting rights being taken from mom without any valid reason it is truly sad but Im hopeful things are gonna change. Somehow once they are put behind bars the money comes up. This is a huge stereotype that if a man is paying child support he must be a deadbeat. My ex left me in 2005 for a female soldier when he was in iraq and had gotten her pregnant. It really all has to do with corruption in the courts and who the judge happens to be. If she wants to keep the child and make the guy pay. Also, if the father has recently lost his job or suffered a large decrease in income, this may too be grounds for abolishing the payments. My son-in-law lived with me for 12 years and I took care of their children. It seems to work out so well for them????? We have been fighting for years to see my husbands kids but we finally gave up because of the nightmare she made it. Involvement and support are dealt with completely separately. I totally agree. What world are you living in? Wehave three girls ages 10, 14 and 17. this is just another way to lock up black men and put them in the leagal slavery system,.. we have to pay half of support but we dont get half the time, we are expected to maintain a house so when the kid does come to visit he has a place to stay. I further tried all my best to get him back but all my effort to get him back in my life did not work out. I believe the states couldnt care less about whether your child is supported. I havent seen my daughter in over 3 years due to the fact my ex found out I was getting married and was having a child with my wife. I asked to use a child support trust account in the form of a shared checking account that both parents contribute to in order to share the responsibility for providing for my childrens needs. If he loses all his money which woman going to consider relationship with him? But that will not stop it. The problem is too many people are employed in this scam. They have lied to keep my daughter in her sons life and told her she wouldn.t be part of their life. Once the child reaches 18 years of age, in most states, it is no longer required that the father pay child support. Why filter the $ through my ex? I left because of the alcohol abuse, his nonchalant, laissez-faire approach to work, life, family and our relationship. The courts tried to do that to me to. Why would she put the necessary effort into a relationship, when she could just as easy move on, collect child support, and start a new life with someonewho has income of his own. 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